Welcome to my Jewish Conversion Journal

Hello! You can call me Kit. Welcome to my very first post on this blog.

When I set out to begin my conversion to Judaism. I was struck by how few written accounts online there are of people converting Judaism -- especially stories of those converting outside of the Orthodox tradition. So I decided to create a little blog for myself to keep a living journal of my conversion process.

I was not born into a Jewish family. I grew up Catholic, attending Mass and Sunday school each week. I loved prayer, I loved reading scripture, and I loved singing prayers during services. However, as a disabled and closeted queer person, my experience with Catholicism was largely negative and isolating. I chose to leave the church when I was 17.

For as long as I can remember, I have been drawn to Judaism. Since I was a child, I have been often mistaken as Jewish, due to having some stereotypically Jewish features, as well as often having Jewish friends. Two of my closest friends today are Jewish, and they are part of the reason I have felt assured enough to pursue conversion.

For the last three years, I have attended Quaker meetings and have generally considered myself to be Quaker. Quakerism has been a framework that has allowed me to do significant reflection with both myself and with G-d. I would sit in Quaker meeting for worship, opening my heart to the spirit and waiting for messages. And I would find myself, again and again, with a recurrent message: You have a Jewish soul. It's time to convert to Judaism.

I've found many reasons not to convert, and I have been trying to talk myself out of it for years. But again and again, the still small voice of worship kept guiding me towards Judaism and the Jewish people.

When people ask me “are you Jewish?” and I reply “no, I’m not,” I always feel like I am lying. But it is the truth, right now I am not Jewish. But I would like to be. 

So after trying to talk myself out of it for months, but continually failing – I reached out to a rabbi. I was greeted with kindness and openness, and from there I signed up for an Introduction to Judaism course that will begin in March and go through August. Next weekend, I'll attend my first Torah study at the local synagogue. I've been collecting books on Judaism for the past six months, and have made my way through a few of them. I've started studying some basic Hebrew, and added Jewish holidays to my calendar.

After so many years of deliberation, I expected that I would feel trepidation and anxiety as I start this process. Yet, from the moment I reached out to a local rabbi, I have felt an overwhelming sensation of calm, and of gratitude. This too, feels like an affirmation that I am making the right decision by pursuing a Jewish conversion.

There will be so much ahead of me before I am immersed in the mikvah. I have no timeline or deadline for this process -- it may take just a year or it may take many years. As I embark on this journey, I will be documenting journal entries on this blog. I may share important milestones, everyday reflections, and accounts of personal experiences.

So, welcome to my journey from goy to ger. I hope you come along for the ride!